FAQ
Frequently Asked Questions
What are daemons and how are they different from other headmates?
The simple answer is there is no answer. There has been zero consensus on what a daemon is or what they should behave like. There are only shared experiences that give us an idea of what a daemon can be like and what our relationship with them may look like. Even this website can only provide a few examples and the rest is for you to explore.
Perhaps the major theme that all daemons seem to exemplify is that they are intrinsically a part of their daemian. They are individuals but also connected in a way that you could not have one without the other.
The roles daemons play in our lives and how they are connected is not a single experience. Many other entities can behave the very same way and be connected just the same. So how do we separate daemons from other headmates? While I think there is a specific "feeling" attached to a daemon if a headmate considers themself a daemon then they are a daemon. "Daemon" could be looked at as a label rather than a "thing". It is a way to describe an experience and relationship with a headmate and sometimes yourself.
Are daemians plural?
If you ask a group of daemians this you'll get a variety of answers. Some, including Systems, feel because their daemon is them they remain as a single unit. Others will say they align with plurality because their daemon is part of them but also their own unique being; similar to a median system. There are many overlaps with daemonism and plurality but I don't believe there is a single answer since daemonism and plurality is so varied and personal to each individual.
HDM says "this" about daemons. If it's not canon is it wrong?
Absolutely in no way should you base the validity of your daemon experience on a work of fiction. Following things in the book can be fun and replicate a very specific type of daemon connection but you are not limited by it.
Your daemon is incorporeal, so the canon experiences and taboos will not apply unless you want them to. Your daemon can go as far from you as they like, touch who they like, be whatever gender they want, and never settle.
Do I have to be human to have a daemon?
No, if you identify as something besides human you can still have a daemon. A corporeal animal or object is not going to have the same complexity of thoughts that are needed for working with a daemon, but as long as you can comprehend what a daemon is I would say you have the potential to develop one.
How many daemons can someone have?
Technically, there is no limit. The number of daemons you have and how often they appear is different for each person. It is common to see one daemon per person because of personal preferences or old community habit. For plural folk you can have a designated daemon(s) for the entire system or each member may have their own. It all depends on the system and members within.
Is my daemon's gender significant?
A daemon's gender can be whatever they wish. This may be symbolic on a deep level between the both of you or it may just be what your daemon is most comfortable as. Or perhaps who you are most comfortable with. There is no rule saying what your daemons gender should be or if they need one at all.
Does my daemon already come with a name?
A daemon may provide a name when you first meet them or choose it later on. Do not be surprised if they are nameless and look to you for ideas. Finding a name together is often very satisfying but do not be afraid of changing it when something new catches the eye. Many daemons have had multiple name changes during their existence so this is completely normal. Some daemians even prefer keeping their daemon's name secret and only use a nickname.
How do I know what my daemon's form is?
Intuition or deep introspection are often the most common means of finding your daemon's form. In reality there is no one who can limit or control what your daemon chooses to be. They have no corporeal body to bind them to one form and are shape shifters at heart.
Besides asking your daemon what they are, or like being, you could always discover a form together that holds meaning for the both of you. This is where form finding and self-reflection come into play.
Also, your daemon does NOT have to take the form of an animal. This is a personal preference and homage to the original idea given in His Dark Materials. Again, your daemon can be anything they wish.
Why is form finding so important?
You do not need to find a form for your daemon, but having one has gone hand in hand with having a daemon since the start of the community. It also is often easier to communicate when you have a shape to focus on. It is not a requirement and is not important to everyone, but it can be fun if you choose to explore this half of daemonism.
Many people are drawn into daemonism not only to meet their daemon but also because they may be looking for some satisfaction of knowing what animal their daemon would settle as. The internet is full of "what is your daemon" type test. It's easy to see from a general fanbase perspective on why it's popular.
But there is also the other side of form finding. The self-reflection and understanding you gain from the entire process is invaluable. I find it similar to experiences like discovering your gender, sexuality, or other elements that come together to create "you". The form is the label, while the deeper understanding of what that label encompasses is what actually matters.
Now, just like some people hate labels and would prefer to live free without definition or assumptions, not all are going to be attracted to form finding. You will still have a daemon even if you choose not to participate in this part of daemonism.
How can I talk to my daemon?
The first step is recognizing how you typically process thoughts and communicate with yourself. Talking to your daemon is talking to yourself if we strip it down to it's simplest form. Once you have narrowed that down you can try a few things.
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Greet yourself. What responds back? A hello or goodbye? Maybe an impression or image? Keep doing this with different phrases until you can comfortably produce full conversations.
Play games, write in a journal to each other, sing songs, ask questions to each other, fill out questionnaires.... There are a lot of ways to improve your communication with your daemon and with trial and error you'll find what works best for you.
HELP! I can't hear my daemon!
Well, lets start with a simple question of can you hear your own thoughts? You may be surprised to know that not everyone has a verbal internal monologue. Or you may be the opposite and you never knew talking to yourself was an actual thing! We all have a stream of consciousness which proves we can have a daemon, and we all have some form of thought processing which confirms we can communicate with a daemon.
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Next, think of how you communicate with yourself. Are your thoughts pure emotions or played out like a silent film? Do you only periodically hear voices while thinking? Knowing how you process thoughts and decisions is step one in communicating with your daemon. From there it just requires more practice on separating and recognizing them.
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If you were already communicating with your daemon and they suddenly go contactless it most likely has to do with stress or perhaps you are under the weather. Anything that would normally make you foggy brained or cause trouble focusing is also likely to do the same to your daemon. Give it time and partake in some self-care.
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How can I see my daemon?
You will be using your "mind's eye" to see your daemon, just as you do when reading a book as an example. The way you visualize scenes while reading or how you recall how something looks will be nearly the same for projection. The main difference being that instead of only seeing your daemon in your mind you will also be imagining them overlayed in your surroundings. Some people will see their daemon in their mind's eye as well as pictured into their surroundings, so don't worry about it needing to be one or the other.
Unless you are someone with hyperphantasia or predisposition to hallucinations your daemon may not be extremely vivid in your mind and will not look solid or feel like a tangible being when projected. You will still see directly through them since they are not a tangible, solid object and thus cannot obstruct your vision. However, with practice it is possible for this projection to become extremely vivid or reach a point your brain tricks itself and overlooks the transparency altogether, treating the projection as if they are a solid object even though you can still see right through them.
Why can't I see my daemon?
Just like some people don't have an internal voice some people cannot visualize imagery! This is called aphantasia. If that is the case for you then projection may not be possible since it does require seeing with the mind's eye. But that's alright! Focusing on communicating or tactile projection is just as rewarding as seeing your daemon.
If you do not have aphantasia then check to see how stressed, tired, or distracted you are. If something is unsettling your focus your ability to project may also be effected.
Is this just playing pretend?
That is up to you to decide. But lets say you did open yourself up to the human-daemon experience. The relationship you had with yourself was real. The self-love, guidance, companionship, and self discovery is no illusion. The interest you’ve acquired, the progress you gained, and the obstacles you’ve overcame are real. Every emotion as valid as it was before and after. If you are real then your daemon is real. The entire experience is real. I truly hope your daemon(s) remain around for the rest of your lives but if they fade back that doesn't mean you were faking.